We all hear the saying that often can sound cliche “if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.” How do we really know what is meant to be in our personal or professional lives - if this is the path for me? Sometimes we don’t know till it presents itself again and we can say - “oh, that was meant to be this way.”
A marriage that ends doesn’t mean we shouldn’t marry again or do not deserve another chance. Like many who get divorced, I didn’t plan to get married again at first. I gradually learned more about what I wanted in a new life partner through my own growth and experiences. It took time and patience, but eventually I realized it is what I want. I don’t want to just call someone my partner. I want that union.
Sometimes a second chance happens when we least expect it. I’m lucky to have a second chance not just at love, but at marriage with someone I first became friends with and had a relationship with in college in the mid 90’s. “The Butterfly Effect” metaphor is simply meant to demonstrate that little, insignificant events can lead to significant results over time. One Facebook message changed both our lives forever.
I’m excited to be engaged to Gena Altizer since mid November, 2022. Gena and I have a long history together - we met at Ithaca College and dated for a bit then. After college we both got married to other people, had 2 children each and eventually divorced. Something drew us to reconnect in March 2019. We spent a year rebuilding a friendship becoming best friends before finally seeing each other again in March 2020 right before the pandemic shutdown.
I’m based in NY’s Hudson Valley. Gena, however, moved to RIchmond, VA after college and that is where her kids are growing up and her life has been. We now split our time between NY and Richmond. I’ve been enjoying getting to know a new area as I’ve never lived outside of NY (except for 2 years in Englewood, NJ a few miles from NY).
I’m grateful for the other relationships I’ve had in my life. They were not any less meaningful or important to me and helped me figure out who I am or what I wanted. They allowed me to be ready for this. We’re now figuring out when and where we will get married. I’ve learned in second marriages you get to write your own path and we’re very excited to do just that.
Gena is currently helping me build SDA Wealth Strategies and SDA Divorce Solutions*. Many say not to mix business, but for us it’s working great. We’re excited for our future together.